Forehead Sprawl

So the other day I'm playing golf, well what I mean by this is I was on a golf course with clubs and all the required equipment and various accouterments. Oh and I do know how to keep score but I digress. In fact I should back up, before heading out onto the Links (note the golfer slang there) I was offered sunscreen by my caring and skin care conscious friend. Ah yes, good idea I certainly need to care for my porcelain skin and so I apply liberally on my legs. Now this is an interesting choice what about arms, face, neck...oh I don't know just about every where else. Fair question but all I can tell you is my redneck-esque decision making is not a new phenomenon. Nevertheless at the end of the round, in addition to being well hydrated I've also been kissed by the sun. As you might guess it was more than a simple kiss this was more of something that requires a marriage license. It isn't long before I see it, I'm standing before a mirror and there it is... My forehead is a shade of red that should be reserved for a well prepared filet mignon. Yes, what I need is additional assistance in directing even more attention to myself. But this, this is something else all together. My rather large forehead is now highlighted like a traffic cone or beacon in the darkness. It in fact is my very own lighthouse warning passers by to stay clear. But none of this is the point really, the point is what is going on with my forehead? It clearly is much too large and from my own recollection it is now growing. In giving this some thought...it is obvious that my forehead is on the move like urban sprawl. Not unlike tectonic shifts that brought people to north america those same folks could find themselves wandering aimlessly across my noggin. This shift seems to be moving at an ever increasing if not exponential rate. As in all fairy tells there is a happy ending here, all that redneckness comes in handy since by the next day i'm back down several shades of red and rocking the farmer tan like a hoss... and they lived happily ever after he and his elephantine forehead. The End.